Not for us to understand...

Dispatched to person sick. Radio advised that we should stage for the sherrif's office at our discretion, as the caller was pretty worked up. After getting more info, we went on into the scene. We were met in the driveway by a man in his late fifties, obviously upset. He said that his mother had been taken to the hospital by ambulance earlier that week, and was presently on life support in the ICU. He called today on behalf of his father. He told us that his father, who had been married over 60 years, hadn't been eating or sleeping since his wife fell ill. We went inside and evaluated the elder family member. He was lying in bed, sick with worry, and had vomited. He was awake, and conversed with us. He explained that he was very worried about his wife, but not in need of emergency services today. We stayed and talked with the entire family while obtaining the necessary information for our report. Hearing the patient talk about his wife it became obvious to everyone that she was his entire world. He was lost without her. We wished them the very best, and hoped for a fast recovery for his wife, and left the home.

The next shift, we were called back to the same address. This time it was for stomach pain. On our way to the call, dispatch came back across the air, telling us that "this call has been upgraded to a person down. Home healthcare provider on scene advises patient collapsed, not breathing, no pulse. CPR in progress." We arrived at the house and found the same elderly man on the floor in cardiac arrest. Family wasn't home, but his aide was there. She said she had gotten him cleaned and dressed. Then she said something that gave us all chills- family wasn't there, and she was getting him ready, because his wife had died. Family was preparing for her funeral, and the aide was to get the elderly man ready to pay his final respects to his wife. She said that he told her his stomach hurt, and then collapsed. We put him on the monitor and were surprised to see asystole. Flatline. He had died getting ready to bury his wife. Since the home healthcare provider witnessed his collapse and immediately started CPR, we had no choice but to continue. We assumed it was futile. He had gone into sudden cardiac arrest. There was no electrical anything in his heart to even work with. We pushed drugs and did compressions, knowing full well that he didn't WANT to be here, he wanted to be with his wife.

We arrived at the hospital and gave them the report. In the ER he had return of spontaneous circulation- his heart started beating again! We all looked at one another in disbelief. It seemed wrong. Not that we ever want anyone to die, but this man wanted to be with his wife. He was being held captive through the miracle of modern medicine. Family was notified, and left the funeral to come check on him, then return to the service for his wife. We cleaned our truck and did the report, checking periodically on him. He was maintaining his own pulse and blood pressure. He had been in arrest over a half hour, yet was holding his own here in the ER. Never before have we felt so bad about "saving" someone. It wasn't supposed to work like this. As bittersweet as it was, he went down when he did for a reason. We finished what we had to do and went back in service. I felt unsettled. We were just going through the motions, not expecting him to "make it". Nobody expected that.

We brought another patient in to the ER later that night, and went up to the ICU to check on him. He was sedated, but the nurses said he had been holding his own blood pressure and pulse, and hadn't gone into arrest any more. They had heard his story, and one looked at me with tears in her eyes, saying "he doesn't want to be here". I agreed. He tried dying of a broken heart and science wouldn't let him.

I wanted to throw up. It wasn't right.

I did see in the newspaper a few days later that he had died. His obituary was there, next to that of his wife. Their dates were only a couple apart. Somehow it was comforting to know that they were again together. A few months went by and I ran into the son who had met us in the driveway at the original call. I offered him my condolences. He shared that although it was difficult to lose them both at the same time, everyone was angry and surprised that his dad hung on as long as he did. He said it was comforting to know that they are together.