As heard on dispatch...

"caller states he is at the local gas station, foot was run over by car thief driving off with his car"....That stinks.

"Complaintant advises he hasn't been able to see for two weeks".....

"Caller states there is a rabid squirrel in his yard attacking the birdfeeder"....

"be advised, stage for S.O., caller states patient is now armed with an etch-a-sketch"...

I wish I could be a fly on the wall for all the calls that dispatch doesn't tone out!