Things To Never Do Before I Die.

There are certain things I just don't care to try before I die. Call me boring, but I never want to visit Antarctica. I hate being cold. With. A. Passion. I never want to eat glass. Don't sign me up for a position at a chicken plant. I've smelled that and do NOT need to have any better of an idea at how that place functions. I don't want to ride a motorcycle through a barbed wire fence. Sadly, the guy we had last week did just that.



We found him lying in a field, propped up on his right elbow, surprisingly calm. His left leg was badly broken, and the bone was protruding through the skin. I was on the rescue, and the crew on the ambulance was bandaging his leg. His clothing was shredded from armpit to ankle, and his bike had been up righted by one of the helpful law enforcement officers on scene. He jokingly asked if anyone wanted to buy a Harley, as it was now for sale, only wrecked once (though the motorcycle fared extremely well, and had gone down in an overgrown field so had little damage to it). We got him on the backboard and hoisted him up the hill and into the waiting ambulance. While someone else worked to start an IV on him, I cut what was left of his shirt to check for further injuries. He had a large abrasion on his stomach, and a fairly decent laceration in his armpit, dangerously close to his brachial artery. He got very lucky. His pants were hanging on him by threads, and his riding vest had been draped over his lap. I moved the vest and quickly discovered why it had been placed there. His sack was sliced open and a testicle lay in his lap, thankfully still attached. I didn't want to blurt it out and scare the poor guy- as of right now he thought his broken leg was his only real injury, so I wrote "evisceration" on my glove and showed the medic on the ambulance. He read it, and looked at me puzzled. I pointed and he turned green, grimacing in sympathy for the poor guy. (An evisceration is when someone's insides are on the outside- usually happens with abdominal organs and intestines, but it can apply to other body parts as well.) We did what we could for him and the ambulance took him down to the hospital. I wonder if he followed through with selling his bike? If not, I'm sure it will be a long time before he's back in the saddle again!