Thinking of your dad

"A" was my partner for a long time at my previous department. She was fun, funny, and just as moody as I am . How we never killed each other is beyond me. We laughed, we cried, we did goofy stuff for no reason whatsoever, we knew each other pretty darn well. We could go to a call, and she and I would feed off each other and could work like a well oiled machine without ever saying a word. She could tell when I would work on someone with a sense of urgency but not want to alarm bystanders or family. She knew my next move and would pass equipment without being asked, or do her part with no prompting. She was a great partner.

"A"s dad and step mom lived nearby, and we were often invited to dinner or just to visit. We watered their plants when they were out of town (and yes, we hung an empty IV bag over a plant for them to discover once, just for fun). I got to know them really well. Her dad worked at a local grocery store, and would harass us every time we went in. He was in his 70's with a full head of snow white hair, and he would smile and laugh as he picked on us, all in good fun of course. I remember one shift in particular, we got off duty and she went to go visit them, as I got in my car for the 45 minute drive home. Within about ten minutes, my phone rang. It was "A", and she was hysterical. I couldn't understand what she was saying. It was all garbled, until I finally made out "it's daddy!'. I turned around and drove to her parent's house. I didn't bother to knock, the door was open and I went in. Her dad lay there on the floor of the hallway. He was purple. He was growing cool. He was dead. There was one cop there, and the sirens of the ambulance were still growing louder in the distance. I hugged her, the tears fell. My heart hurt. There was nothing I could do. We sat together and cried and cried and cried.

His wife had said he complained of horrible indigestion, so shehad gone to the store to get him some medicine. She arrived back at the house the same time "A" got there. Her dad collapsed where his wife had left him, apparently as soon as she went to the store. He never let on things were as bad as they were. They think it was his heart.

I went to the funeral. I hugged her kids- whom I had met several times before. I hugged her step mom. "A" and I talked. She didn't want to be there. Neither did I. Nobody did. This was part of the line of work we didn't deal with. The pain families and friends feel after a loved one dies is what we avoid at all costs.

"A", if you're reading this- I just wanted you to know I still think about your dad and "S". Give your kids a big hug for me. Hope you're doing well.